I have been doing a lot of research lately, mostly because of school, but some of the research was done on my own. I have found some interesting, yet disturbing philosophies going around in Christian circles. Some statements are naturally made by non-Christian psychologists, nevertheless, Christians have bought into this thinking as well.
I am thinking of a well known Christian musical artist, who divorce her husband around 10 or so years ago. A few days ago, I was doing some research looking for some of her quotes when I ran across some disturbing ideas.
This woman was being considered as not being allowed to continue to be part of CCM (which I assume means contemporary Christian Music) because of her divorce. But it was not the divorce that was the problem. It was the way the whole situation was handled. The man at CCM said that the way it was handled violated Scriptures.
During this time period, the woman was not happy in her marriage and was having an affair. Here are some of the things I read concerning a person who was critiquing the man who runs CCM, and also the counselor of this woman were quite enlightening. The counselor told the woman that God created marriage so that each partner could enjoy each other to the fullest. That sounds nice, but that is not reality. No one is going to enjoy their spouse to the fullest. Not in this life, anyway.
The second thing that disturbed me, was the man who wrote this article. He said that there were different reasons for divorce. He was already in conflict with the man at CCM who wanted to dismiss this Christian artist. The man who wrote the article said that sometimes, people are just mismatched. Their personalities do not work together. But get this; He said this kind of marriage is already failed. There is no use in living in a failed marriage. But what does the Bible say? He didn't acknowledge what the Bible said. He acknowledged what he believes in what makes a marriage fail, and, why we should not stay in a marriage that is failed.
The last thing that disturbed me, was what I read tonight in a counseling book. It was from a secular source, but, this is the kind of thinking Americans seem to embrace today. "Staying in an unhappy marriage is psychologically damaging" (Pepper Schwartz). What? Our culture is so filled with this lie of having to do whatever it is to make us happy. No wonder there are so many divorces today. No one gets what they want out of marriage because we are all so selfish. Marriage violates our selfishness. We have to grow up and become responsible. We have to own our sin and work through difficult relationship issues. We have to repent when we make a mistake or hurt someone. We have to have God's help to free us from our love of self in order to love the other person.
Up until the 1960s, divorce was almost unheard of. Many moms stayed home with the children. But today, divorce has filled the church and cohabitation has increased in an exponential way. I wonder why people don't know what the Scriptures say. Could it be that people really do believe that when there is a conflict between the culture and Scriptures, Scripture must bow down to the culture? What do you think?
Life is hard. We are totally unfamiliar with doing hard things. But that is how we change. That is how we grow up. God will never be able to use us if we want to be comfortable and have things our way.
Anyway, this is my 2 cents for today. Take it or leave it. Whatever you do though, make sure it is based upon Scriptures.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Marriage Is Not Living "Happily Ever After"
Marriage isn't living happily ever after, but we have been duped into thinking that it is. As little girls, we idolize Cinderella and other well known figures who do not inform us of Biblical truth concerning life, the way it really is.
When we marry, the person we will live with the rest of our lives, is a sinner. That sounds cruel, at first. It sounds like a put down, but, unless you understand this truth, your marriage will not be very successful. Not only is our spouse a sinner, but over time, we will learn the sad truth that we, ourselves, are also sinners.
What is a sinner? Someone who robs banks or sleeps around? Yes, but even more. Sinners are people who are proud. Sinners are bullies. Sinners are coveters. Sinners are manipulators. Matthew 15 gives some descriptions of sins, as well as 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Galatians 5:18-21. Here is a partial list of sins:
men who practice homosexuality
greedy
revilers
swindlers
evil thoughts
murder
adultery
sexual immorality
theft
false witness
slander
impurity
sensuality
idolatry
sorcery
enmity
strife
jealousy
fits of anger
rivalries
dissensions
divisions
envy
drunkenness
orgies
I am not going to define some of these terms, but you can look them up in a dictionary. There are more listed in different parts of the Bible. The bottom line is, we are all sinners and capable of doing terrible sins. We hurt ourselves, our spouses, and our sin offends God. It is hard for us to see our own sin, but we can easily spot sin in others.
I would recommend the book, 'When Sinners Say I Do' to my readers, to help explain God's perspective in marriage. Our expectations of marriage, and what God has designed marriage to be, are two different things. It is helpful for us to know this, and it will save us from a lot of grief if we can get this right from the beginning of our marriages.
Here is a pdf file on "When Sinners Say 'I Do'". http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Reference/When%20Sinners%20Say%20I%20Do%20excerpts.pdf
You can also order the book on amazon.com.
When we marry, the person we will live with the rest of our lives, is a sinner. That sounds cruel, at first. It sounds like a put down, but, unless you understand this truth, your marriage will not be very successful. Not only is our spouse a sinner, but over time, we will learn the sad truth that we, ourselves, are also sinners.
What is a sinner? Someone who robs banks or sleeps around? Yes, but even more. Sinners are people who are proud. Sinners are bullies. Sinners are coveters. Sinners are manipulators. Matthew 15 gives some descriptions of sins, as well as 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Galatians 5:18-21. Here is a partial list of sins:
men who practice homosexuality
greedy
revilers
swindlers
evil thoughts
murder
adultery
sexual immorality
theft
false witness
slander
impurity
sensuality
idolatry
sorcery
enmity
strife
jealousy
fits of anger
rivalries
dissensions
divisions
envy
drunkenness
orgies
I am not going to define some of these terms, but you can look them up in a dictionary. There are more listed in different parts of the Bible. The bottom line is, we are all sinners and capable of doing terrible sins. We hurt ourselves, our spouses, and our sin offends God. It is hard for us to see our own sin, but we can easily spot sin in others.
I would recommend the book, 'When Sinners Say I Do' to my readers, to help explain God's perspective in marriage. Our expectations of marriage, and what God has designed marriage to be, are two different things. It is helpful for us to know this, and it will save us from a lot of grief if we can get this right from the beginning of our marriages.
Here is a pdf file on "When Sinners Say 'I Do'". http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Reference/When%20Sinners%20Say%20I%20Do%20excerpts.pdf
You can also order the book on amazon.com.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Humility Vs. Humiliation
I think we use these words interchangeably without really understanding the meaning behind them. Humility is the act of humbling oneself. It is not allowing pride to develop, especially when there are temptations all around us to be prideful. But humiliation has to do with putting a person down or defaming him or her. It is making a person less than human.
I personally think that many people are reluctant to come to God because they feel humiliated when they hear that they are sinners. Perhaps it has to do with the way the person has heard the Gospel message presented prior to hearing it fresh. If we happen to see people yelling at us to repent, or name calling to those who are passing by, we will not get a sweet taste of the Gospel, but rather will have a distasteful memory of it.
The Bible is very clear that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord. He will defend us and pick us up when we humble ourselves. But if we hold onto pride, God will resist us. God will give us the grace we need if we humble ourselves and ask for it.
Pride also goes before a fall. Pride is a dangerous thing for us to have. But what is humiliation, and what does it look like?
Humiliation looks much like a bully bullying someone around. Humiliation makes fun of people. Humiliation laughs at people when they fall. The person causing humiliation for another is full of pride. But God does not treat us this way. God will humble us, but He doesn't humiliate us. He doesn't put us down because of our sin. He doesn't say, 'Oh you stupid sinners. When are you ever going to figure it out?' Instead, He provides an answer for all our sin.
There are countless examples of people who humbled themselves before God, and they received God's mercy and grace. Think about Zacchaeus. This man swindled a lot of money from people. Jesus reached out to him and invited Himself to Zacchaeus' house. Zacchaeus was now a changed man. He repented and restored what he had taken from others. Think of Peter, when Jesus was washing the disciples' feet. Peter said, 'You will never wash my feet.' to the Lord. Then the Lord told him that if He did not wash Peter's feet, then Peter would have no share in Him. Peter quickly decided that he would let Jesus wash, not only his feet, but also his whole body!
Of course, the greatest example of humility was in God sending His Son to come to earth to live a perfect life, and to end up being crushed for our sins. This was not only an act of humility, but it was also humiliation. No one understood why this man who helped people and healed them was dying such a terrible death. No one cared either. No one stepped in and defended Jesus. He could have been released from the sentence placed on Him, but if that were to happen, then the whole purpose for His coming would have been defeated. What He went through was the most humiliating thing any human being had ever gone through.
Humility we need to embrace. Humiliation is uncalled for. We need to be careful that we can tell the difference between the two.
I personally think that many people are reluctant to come to God because they feel humiliated when they hear that they are sinners. Perhaps it has to do with the way the person has heard the Gospel message presented prior to hearing it fresh. If we happen to see people yelling at us to repent, or name calling to those who are passing by, we will not get a sweet taste of the Gospel, but rather will have a distasteful memory of it.
The Bible is very clear that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord. He will defend us and pick us up when we humble ourselves. But if we hold onto pride, God will resist us. God will give us the grace we need if we humble ourselves and ask for it.
Pride also goes before a fall. Pride is a dangerous thing for us to have. But what is humiliation, and what does it look like?
Humiliation looks much like a bully bullying someone around. Humiliation makes fun of people. Humiliation laughs at people when they fall. The person causing humiliation for another is full of pride. But God does not treat us this way. God will humble us, but He doesn't humiliate us. He doesn't put us down because of our sin. He doesn't say, 'Oh you stupid sinners. When are you ever going to figure it out?' Instead, He provides an answer for all our sin.
There are countless examples of people who humbled themselves before God, and they received God's mercy and grace. Think about Zacchaeus. This man swindled a lot of money from people. Jesus reached out to him and invited Himself to Zacchaeus' house. Zacchaeus was now a changed man. He repented and restored what he had taken from others. Think of Peter, when Jesus was washing the disciples' feet. Peter said, 'You will never wash my feet.' to the Lord. Then the Lord told him that if He did not wash Peter's feet, then Peter would have no share in Him. Peter quickly decided that he would let Jesus wash, not only his feet, but also his whole body!
Of course, the greatest example of humility was in God sending His Son to come to earth to live a perfect life, and to end up being crushed for our sins. This was not only an act of humility, but it was also humiliation. No one understood why this man who helped people and healed them was dying such a terrible death. No one cared either. No one stepped in and defended Jesus. He could have been released from the sentence placed on Him, but if that were to happen, then the whole purpose for His coming would have been defeated. What He went through was the most humiliating thing any human being had ever gone through.
Humility we need to embrace. Humiliation is uncalled for. We need to be careful that we can tell the difference between the two.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Tell Your Stories To Your Kids
When my girls were little, I used to tell them stories of things I did when I was a kid. We had a little guest over one time, and I told her and my daughter about how I used to play on the phone and what I did when I played on the phone. She was rolling in laughter.
I think there is something personal about telling our stories to our children. It helps them understand that we were small one time. It also helps them understand that we aren't perfect. We can relate to them. I wish I had done this more with my younger kids. Maybe I can try it with my grandchildren, anyway.
My mom told me some stories of things that happened when she was young. One of them helped me tonight, to think through a situation I am going through. She had told me about my grandfather and his sad experience when his son suddenly left home immediately after graduation. My grandfather became sullen. He became silent. I was only about 1 or 2 when this happened, but my mom said that I was the only bright spot in his life during that time. I am going through a similar situation, yet I do have a lot of bright spots to be thankful for.
It is good to read to your children. It is also good to just tell them stories. They will remember those stories and perhaps they will tell them to their own children when the time comes.
I think there is something personal about telling our stories to our children. It helps them understand that we were small one time. It also helps them understand that we aren't perfect. We can relate to them. I wish I had done this more with my younger kids. Maybe I can try it with my grandchildren, anyway.
My mom told me some stories of things that happened when she was young. One of them helped me tonight, to think through a situation I am going through. She had told me about my grandfather and his sad experience when his son suddenly left home immediately after graduation. My grandfather became sullen. He became silent. I was only about 1 or 2 when this happened, but my mom said that I was the only bright spot in his life during that time. I am going through a similar situation, yet I do have a lot of bright spots to be thankful for.
It is good to read to your children. It is also good to just tell them stories. They will remember those stories and perhaps they will tell them to their own children when the time comes.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
How Do I Handle Disappointment?
How will I handle disappointment when it comes my way? Well, let's see. Some really disappointing things happened tonight. What will happen to my belief system because of these things? Will I reshape my view of God because life didn't deliver as promised (or what I think should have been promised)?
First of all, I have a lot to be grateful for. God has tremendously blessed me with many things. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful church family as well. I could make a long list of things God has blessed me with. And I truly think I am grateful for all of this.
Secondly, I know all of us have our share of difficulties. No one is going to be exempt from hardship. To think I have not experienced hardship in any major degree lately is a lot to be thankful for. Some people have such difficult problems, that I can't even imagine how hard they would be.
Thirdly, where does my satisfaction come from? Does is primarily come from God? Or does it come primarily from His blessings? God is the only One who can truly satisfy a person's soul, but even though that is true, we look for happiness and satisfaction in every place but in God. We are sold on the devil's lie that God is not good and that He is not to be trusted. We see people with things we would like to have. We think we will be happy with those things. We would be happy for a short time, but, in the end, we won't be satisfied. We will look for something else to make us happy.
A couple of months ago, I was making pasta with a pasta attachment to my mixer. This attachment costs around $200 and I have used it a lot. I depend upon this attachment to make pasta using pure flour and ingredients in place of buying store bought boxed pasta. One evening while I was making pasta, my plastic spoon got stuck in the shaft. I couldn't believe it really happened. I knew it was the end of my pasta making attachment and right after it happened, I was beside myself. I was tempted to start using bad language. I was tempted to yell and openly become angry. I panicked and went to the computer to tell all my Facebook friends what had happened. Maybe they would join in with my pity party.
It took a little while, but as I pondered this situation, I remembered that God is sovereign over every situation in my life. I left to go to a party, while my husband worked on getting the plastic spoon out of the shaft of the pasta attachment. To look at the combination, it looked hopeless. I resolved myself to the fact that God will work out whatever will happen to the pasta attachment. So be it if I have to throw it away. I won't be able to get another one for a long time, but, it will be ok. If I have it, I'll be grateful. If I don't have it, I will be grateful for the time I did have it.
Surprise, when I came home, my husband had fixed it. The pasta machine was back in working order. The spoon had to be cut in half though. But this episode was a good test to see what was in my heart and what I would be tempted with should something I use be taken away from me.
Now I have another difficulty. It might not ever be resolved. My husband gave me a gift card to a store, and when I went to apply it, all it gave me was an invalid error message. I tried several times. I contacted the company and they tried to get the gift card to work, but were unsuccessful. I really depended on that gift card to buy certain items. It was worth a lot of money, but now it is useless. How am I going to respond? All the items I put into the cart will have to wait now. I will have to learn to be content with what God gives me, or what He doesn't give me. I will have to learn that I am not 'entitled' to things.
God wants us to learn self control, and puts us in situations which try us and help us to grow. But I think God also wants us to turn to Him to find satisfaction. Living in America makes it hard to find satisfaction in God, because we have so many other distractions and false promises of things that will make us 'happy'. God doesn't give us things so we can become wrapped up in them. He wants to give us Himself. Why do we look for happiness in all the wrong places?
First of all, I have a lot to be grateful for. God has tremendously blessed me with many things. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful church family as well. I could make a long list of things God has blessed me with. And I truly think I am grateful for all of this.
Secondly, I know all of us have our share of difficulties. No one is going to be exempt from hardship. To think I have not experienced hardship in any major degree lately is a lot to be thankful for. Some people have such difficult problems, that I can't even imagine how hard they would be.
Thirdly, where does my satisfaction come from? Does is primarily come from God? Or does it come primarily from His blessings? God is the only One who can truly satisfy a person's soul, but even though that is true, we look for happiness and satisfaction in every place but in God. We are sold on the devil's lie that God is not good and that He is not to be trusted. We see people with things we would like to have. We think we will be happy with those things. We would be happy for a short time, but, in the end, we won't be satisfied. We will look for something else to make us happy.
A couple of months ago, I was making pasta with a pasta attachment to my mixer. This attachment costs around $200 and I have used it a lot. I depend upon this attachment to make pasta using pure flour and ingredients in place of buying store bought boxed pasta. One evening while I was making pasta, my plastic spoon got stuck in the shaft. I couldn't believe it really happened. I knew it was the end of my pasta making attachment and right after it happened, I was beside myself. I was tempted to start using bad language. I was tempted to yell and openly become angry. I panicked and went to the computer to tell all my Facebook friends what had happened. Maybe they would join in with my pity party.
It took a little while, but as I pondered this situation, I remembered that God is sovereign over every situation in my life. I left to go to a party, while my husband worked on getting the plastic spoon out of the shaft of the pasta attachment. To look at the combination, it looked hopeless. I resolved myself to the fact that God will work out whatever will happen to the pasta attachment. So be it if I have to throw it away. I won't be able to get another one for a long time, but, it will be ok. If I have it, I'll be grateful. If I don't have it, I will be grateful for the time I did have it.
Surprise, when I came home, my husband had fixed it. The pasta machine was back in working order. The spoon had to be cut in half though. But this episode was a good test to see what was in my heart and what I would be tempted with should something I use be taken away from me.
Now I have another difficulty. It might not ever be resolved. My husband gave me a gift card to a store, and when I went to apply it, all it gave me was an invalid error message. I tried several times. I contacted the company and they tried to get the gift card to work, but were unsuccessful. I really depended on that gift card to buy certain items. It was worth a lot of money, but now it is useless. How am I going to respond? All the items I put into the cart will have to wait now. I will have to learn to be content with what God gives me, or what He doesn't give me. I will have to learn that I am not 'entitled' to things.
God wants us to learn self control, and puts us in situations which try us and help us to grow. But I think God also wants us to turn to Him to find satisfaction. Living in America makes it hard to find satisfaction in God, because we have so many other distractions and false promises of things that will make us 'happy'. God doesn't give us things so we can become wrapped up in them. He wants to give us Himself. Why do we look for happiness in all the wrong places?
"...for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the
fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken
cisterns that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13 ESV
"On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood
and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come
to me and drink. Whoever believes in
me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom
those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had
not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified." John 7:37 ESV
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| Pasta machine attachment with plastic spoon after being rescued from destruction. |
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Critique But Do Not Criticize
We live in an age where we love to be critical of others. Actually, I'm sure that every age has had this problem. Today, our criticisms can go further though, because of the Internet.
There is a lot of criticism going on through the Internet today. Is criticism wrong? It depends upon the motive of the person doing the criticizing.
We can be more objective and respectful if we critique something rather than attack it. We all need critiquing, at times. Criticizing is different though, because it attacks a person instead of what that person is promoting.
In apologetic circles, it is good to critique the beliefs of the Skeptics. We have to be careful to not attack the Skeptic though! When we attack a person, it is called 'Ad hominem'.
A good rule of thumb is to treat other people (even our enemies) in such a way that we would wish for others to treat us. Would we want others to attack us for what we believe in? Wouldn't it be easier to have a conversation with someone who is not critical of you than to try to reason with someone who has attacked you?
We are to respect other people and treat them with dignity, even if what they believe in is wrong. Who knows? Maybe the person we are critiquing would be open to our friendship? Always be kind in everything you say and do about others. Speak the truth, but always in love.
There is a lot of criticism going on through the Internet today. Is criticism wrong? It depends upon the motive of the person doing the criticizing.
We can be more objective and respectful if we critique something rather than attack it. We all need critiquing, at times. Criticizing is different though, because it attacks a person instead of what that person is promoting.
In apologetic circles, it is good to critique the beliefs of the Skeptics. We have to be careful to not attack the Skeptic though! When we attack a person, it is called 'Ad hominem'.
A good rule of thumb is to treat other people (even our enemies) in such a way that we would wish for others to treat us. Would we want others to attack us for what we believe in? Wouldn't it be easier to have a conversation with someone who is not critical of you than to try to reason with someone who has attacked you?
We are to respect other people and treat them with dignity, even if what they believe in is wrong. Who knows? Maybe the person we are critiquing would be open to our friendship? Always be kind in everything you say and do about others. Speak the truth, but always in love.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Marriage - Why It Is Good - Why It Is Hard
I remember being a teenager looking forward to the day I would be married. I really wanted to be a wife and homemaker, and probably a mother. I have to wonder why I wanted to be married though, and I look at some of the reasons why I thought marriage would be a good idea. One reason was, that I could retire.... I know that was silly, but, I didn't want to have to get up early in the morning because of being so tired. I thought marriage would provide me with that luxury!
Seriously, I did not know all that was involved in making a marriage work. Nor did I understand what God's desire and intention was for us in marriage. But, marriage is a good thing, according to the Bible. Marriage is also a hard thing, because whenever two people are together in a relationship, there will be difficulties.
Ever since the fall of mankind (see Genesis 3) people have not gotten along very well. Being married does not fix this problem, but reveals it even more. The wife sets up her kingdom, while the husband sets up his kingdom. The problem is, they have different Rulers of their kingdoms. We, because of our autonomy, are the Rulers of our lives. The answer is simple, but not easy. Jesus is to be our Ruler. That is the essence of the fall of mankind. We want to be in control of our lives. We want to call the shots. But think of how different it would be if both husband and wife are surrendered to the same King, Jesus Christ!
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| Adam and Eve in the Garden. Adam knew better than to take of the forbidden fruit.
Does God want us happy in our marriages? God blesses us with our spouses and children, yet, we seem so unhappy about things. What could be wrong?
We could have wrong expectations. Remember the Cinderella story? It ends with the words, 'And they lived happily ever after'. That sounds nice, but it isn't reality. Nevertheless, we bring this expectation into our marriages and when hard problems rise up, we feel like we have been tricked. Or worse, we think that this isn't the marriage God has for us. Because we are not 'happy' like Cinderella was, we must be missing the boat. Some even think its time to get out of the marriage if we aren't happy. But what does God say?
There are many Scriptures which tell us how to live in relationships with others. Some passages are specific to marriage as well (See Ephesians 5). Relationships are messy. They are hard work. But God has sovereignly chosen our mates for us, and He gives us the grace to work through our problems. God does not give us marriages to make us happy. He gives us marriages (as well as other relationships) to make us holy. We have to keep that in mind, always.
There are two reasons marriage is good, but hard. One is because of our unrealistic expectation, and the other is because we, as Americans in particular, believe that God wants to make us happy. And anything that violates our happiness must not be from God, we conclude. But nothing can be further from the truth. While we are on earth, we are like the underside of the tapestry. All you see is the strings hanging and the whole picture doesn't make any sense. But when the tapestry is finished, if you look on the finished side, you can see a beautiful work of art. This is much like the way God works in our lives. He gives us friends, spouses, children, and other relationships. Some of those relationships are very hard to work with. That shows us our need for God's help. If we insist on injuring those who we don't like or who hurt us, we are really acting independent of God. We think we are wiser than God.
Another thing to keep in mind is that we are pragmatic people. Pragmatic simply means that we cannot work through hard issues because we want simple answers immediately. We want our problems fixed right away. We pray about something and expect God to answer it immediately, and if He doesn't, we think we have missed God somehow. Our whole way of thinking is shaped around pragmatism.
We don't know how to do hard things. Are hard things bad? Not necessarily. Our society will teach us how to take the easy way out of problems. We know all the shortcuts. But with some problems and challenges, there are no shortcuts. So, instead of working through them, we bail out. If the marriage gets too hard, we leave. If the job is too hard, we quit. This is so opposed to God's way. God wants us to depend upon Him for His grace to help us in our time of need. When we take the easy way out, we aren't even giving God a chance at pouring out His grace on us. Which is better: to get a divorce, or, to receive God's grace and wisdom to work through a difficult marriage? Even if the marriage is irreconcilable, just receiving God's grace to bring us through the difficult situation is worth it. God doesn't want us to bail out. He wants us to persevere through trials and difficulties. There is an end to the dark tunnel and He will be with us in the tunnel. And we will be on the other side, eventually.
Finally, you may have a spouse who is sinning, or even sinning against you. Keep in mind that your spouse's real battle is with the Lord, not necessarily with you. Pray for your spouse when you see him or her battling with sin or unbelief. The Enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to destroy your marriage by lying to you about how your spouse hates you. Your spouse has a sinful nature just like you do. He or she is not free from temptations to sin. He or she needs to receive God's grace just like you and I need to receive it.
Humility and love are keys to making a marriage work. God's grace enables two sinful people to live in a beautiful relationship together. It is a process, so we need to be patient with our spouses. Remember how patient God is with us. Let us extend that to the ones we are married to.
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Saturday, March 1, 2014
How Secular Psychology Affects the Church Today
Secular psychology is really not all that old. Back in the 1800s, the church had the basic responsibility of caring for the sheep. Problems were dealt with using Biblical principles. But something happened to change the whole face of Biblical counseling that was to be lived out in the church.
Either the church abdicated her responsibility in caring for the sheep, or the people did not want the church to be involved in their personal problems, so, as a result, the care of the mind, as well as the soul, came under the category of 'neurology' and neurologists were the ones who became responsible for not only the mind, but also the soul. At this point in History, people were not seeing the difference between the soul and the mind. If you had an emotional problem, only the neurologist could provide the proper help. The neurologist would be the one who would help your problem of anger. But, something else was happening in History. A man named Sigmund Freud rose up and challenged the medical field. Freud actually saw that people's problems cannot be solved with medicine. So, he comes up with an alternative to medicine called 'psychoanalysis'. His therapy consisted of the patient talking to an objective listener, with the goal being that the patient tells everything that he is aware of. So freud takes the problems of the soul away from neurology and creates a new category called, 'Psychology'.
Other psychological thinkers rose up as well. They all had one thing in common: They treated the problems of the soul with therapy instead of ministering the word of God to the soul. When they referred to the mind, it was really the category of the soul they were addressing for the most part. Scientists and doctors look for something tangible they can work with. If a person is sick, many times an antibiotic can help. If a person is depressed, lithium usually works. But what kind of a medicine can you give to a person to take away his anger problem? How do you help a child who is insistent on playing with toys instead of doing school work? How do you correctly label a problem like that?
This is many years later, and there is still influence of secular theology in our churches as well as in our thinking, generally thinking. Sometimes, I think people are well intended, but just don't use words carefully. They don't think through them. For example, I have heard people who are not Hindus, say something like, 'The next time around, I want to be a ____', or, sometimes we just use phrases like, 'What goes around, comes around.' Maybe there is some truth to it, but, the concept is based upon Karma, which ins't based on Scriptures.
The Therapeutic Movement has been the worst culprit of secular psychology that has seeped into the church. The basic idea leads people to believe that they are special, worthy, and in need of elevating their 'self-esteem'. This might not sound serious on the surface, but words like 'esteem' and 'worth' are worship words. This too can be tricky because it just sounds like we need to respect ourselves. But it has the connotation of elevating ourselves, rather than respect. Are we 'worthy'? In regards to God, we are unworthy. This word has led to a dangerous concept in the church, and I have seen this brought out in contemporary Christian music. It is very subtle, but, it turns the order of worship around. Songs like, 'We Are The Reason'* and even 'Above All'** can lead to dangerous thinking. Yes, God does love us as described in John 3:16. God is not our servant. I'm sure that these song writers probably love God and the words could just be a slip of the tongue. But the listener could misunderstand easily, especially if he doesn't have a good grasp on our need for salvation.
Bruce Ware gave a message and explained something helpful in this regard. He brought out the fact that many think that Jesus died because of a person's worth. In other words, Jesus' death was costly. A person's worth is valuable, therefore, Jesus died because we were full of value. But, the reason Jesus died was not because of our value, but because of our sin. Our sin is what cost Him His life. Bruce compared this analogy with the way we shop. We put an item in the cart, and we pay the price for the item in exchange for the item. But that is not how the Gospel works. I think this whole 'self-esteem' concept has brought this thinking about. That is why so many are missing the Gospel today. In a subtle way, we think we are the objects of worship and the Gospel is God's way of serving us and elevating us. It's not about us. It's all about God, and we are included in His plan.
Psychology is a modern day category that was brought about because the church dropped the ball when it came to doing Biblical counseling. Today, the church can bring Biblical counseling back to the church, and it should be brought back. It is the responsibility of the church to disciple people and minister to the needs of the soul. We can't just throw the baby out with the bathwater because psychology has done unbiblical things that have been brought into the church. Let's go back to the Bible and find the answers to the needs for the human soul. Let's be filled with the love of God for those who are hurting. Let's be patient with those who are wayward and not give up on working with them. Let's be careful to not adopt concepts that lead to self worship, but let us turn to God and let Him be the object of our worship. Let us pray for those who are doing 'Christian psychology' that they may be able to separate the truth from the lies as they seek to counsel and help people.
*We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
Either the church abdicated her responsibility in caring for the sheep, or the people did not want the church to be involved in their personal problems, so, as a result, the care of the mind, as well as the soul, came under the category of 'neurology' and neurologists were the ones who became responsible for not only the mind, but also the soul. At this point in History, people were not seeing the difference between the soul and the mind. If you had an emotional problem, only the neurologist could provide the proper help. The neurologist would be the one who would help your problem of anger. But, something else was happening in History. A man named Sigmund Freud rose up and challenged the medical field. Freud actually saw that people's problems cannot be solved with medicine. So, he comes up with an alternative to medicine called 'psychoanalysis'. His therapy consisted of the patient talking to an objective listener, with the goal being that the patient tells everything that he is aware of. So freud takes the problems of the soul away from neurology and creates a new category called, 'Psychology'.
Other psychological thinkers rose up as well. They all had one thing in common: They treated the problems of the soul with therapy instead of ministering the word of God to the soul. When they referred to the mind, it was really the category of the soul they were addressing for the most part. Scientists and doctors look for something tangible they can work with. If a person is sick, many times an antibiotic can help. If a person is depressed, lithium usually works. But what kind of a medicine can you give to a person to take away his anger problem? How do you help a child who is insistent on playing with toys instead of doing school work? How do you correctly label a problem like that?
This is many years later, and there is still influence of secular theology in our churches as well as in our thinking, generally thinking. Sometimes, I think people are well intended, but just don't use words carefully. They don't think through them. For example, I have heard people who are not Hindus, say something like, 'The next time around, I want to be a ____', or, sometimes we just use phrases like, 'What goes around, comes around.' Maybe there is some truth to it, but, the concept is based upon Karma, which ins't based on Scriptures.
The Therapeutic Movement has been the worst culprit of secular psychology that has seeped into the church. The basic idea leads people to believe that they are special, worthy, and in need of elevating their 'self-esteem'. This might not sound serious on the surface, but words like 'esteem' and 'worth' are worship words. This too can be tricky because it just sounds like we need to respect ourselves. But it has the connotation of elevating ourselves, rather than respect. Are we 'worthy'? In regards to God, we are unworthy. This word has led to a dangerous concept in the church, and I have seen this brought out in contemporary Christian music. It is very subtle, but, it turns the order of worship around. Songs like, 'We Are The Reason'* and even 'Above All'** can lead to dangerous thinking. Yes, God does love us as described in John 3:16. God is not our servant. I'm sure that these song writers probably love God and the words could just be a slip of the tongue. But the listener could misunderstand easily, especially if he doesn't have a good grasp on our need for salvation.
Bruce Ware gave a message and explained something helpful in this regard. He brought out the fact that many think that Jesus died because of a person's worth. In other words, Jesus' death was costly. A person's worth is valuable, therefore, Jesus died because we were full of value. But, the reason Jesus died was not because of our value, but because of our sin. Our sin is what cost Him His life. Bruce compared this analogy with the way we shop. We put an item in the cart, and we pay the price for the item in exchange for the item. But that is not how the Gospel works. I think this whole 'self-esteem' concept has brought this thinking about. That is why so many are missing the Gospel today. In a subtle way, we think we are the objects of worship and the Gospel is God's way of serving us and elevating us. It's not about us. It's all about God, and we are included in His plan.
Psychology is a modern day category that was brought about because the church dropped the ball when it came to doing Biblical counseling. Today, the church can bring Biblical counseling back to the church, and it should be brought back. It is the responsibility of the church to disciple people and minister to the needs of the soul. We can't just throw the baby out with the bathwater because psychology has done unbiblical things that have been brought into the church. Let's go back to the Bible and find the answers to the needs for the human soul. Let's be filled with the love of God for those who are hurting. Let's be patient with those who are wayward and not give up on working with them. Let's be careful to not adopt concepts that lead to self worship, but let us turn to God and let Him be the object of our worship. Let us pray for those who are doing 'Christian psychology' that they may be able to separate the truth from the lies as they seek to counsel and help people.
*We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
(Avalon)
**Like the rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
(Michael W. Smith)
Don't try so hard
God gives you grace and you can't earn it
Don't think that you're not worth it
Because you are
He gave you His love and He's not leaving
He gave you His Son so you'd believe it
You're lovely even with your scars
Don't try so hard
God gives you grace and you can't earn it
Don't think that you're not worth it
Because you are
He gave you His love and He's not leaving
He gave you His Son so you'd believe it
You're lovely even with your scars
Don't try so hard
(Amy Grant)
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