What exactly does it mean to forgive someone? Are we always to forgive? Does that mean it is wrong for the legal system to get involved? How do we forgive someone when they have hurt us grievously? These questions have been asked over and over again by people who have been offended or hurt by another. There are different levels, or even types of offenses committed against us. Offenses could come in the form of slander or ridicule, or, they could be acts of treason against the offended party. They could involve sins such as murder or theft. Forgiving an offensive person can truly be hard, if not, impossible.
But then, why are we expected to forgive, and how can we forgive? Why should we forgive? The easy answer would be to say, 'because God says so.' God truly does say that we are to forgive.
Let's look at what forgiveness provides. We have to start with God. God is holy and perfect. He is also loving. The Bible says that we are His enemies. We know Satan is God's enemy. Satan is also our enemy. But we are enemies of God too. I think this is the first point that we really don't understand. By default, we think we are like God. We think we are basically good people. Some of us really assume we love God. But the Bible disagrees. It tells us that we love ourselves instead of God. To be honest, we really wouldn't care of God is in our lives or not, unless of course, we need something from Him. We live our lives in our own self-interest. But God created us to live out our lives for His glory, and not our own. You might argue with that and think that is going overboard. After all, God doesn't want us to be fanatical about Him does He? That answer is really the point of it. It shows that we don't want God to be involved in our lives, because we think our lives rightfully belong to us! Our lives belong to God, and not us. He created us to be used for His glory and to make His name known. If we can get this perspective right, we can understand the issue of forgiveness more clearly. If we don't get it, we won't understand what forgiveness is all about. I'll explain more here.
The Bible is clear that we are wretched sinners with absolutely no desire for God. God is so absolutely holy that we are so far away from Him and understanding what He is like. The Bible says we are in darkness. But what God did was so amazing. Hang in here with me for another couple of minutes. God sent His Son, 2000 years ago, to pay the penalty for our sins, to provide the power for us to live a holy life, to have the power to combat the powers of darkness, to have the chains of the bondage of sin broken in us, and to give us eternal life through the Cross. The concept of the Cross is not just something we stick in the back of our minds that only comes out at Easter time or on Sunday mornings. It provides the power we need to have to live a holy life and now we can also have a relationship with God, whereas without the Cross, that would be impossible.
OK, what does this have to do with forgiving others? Because God paid such a high price so that we could now have salvation and a relationship with Him, we can actually experience His forgiveness for us. He will freely now forgive us all our sin. Our sin against a holy God, is so indescribably bad. God could have made it easier for Himself and left us in our horrid condition. But He didn't. You and I can experience forgiveness from God for our sins, which is so tremendous.
When someone sins against me it is bad. I have seen people sinned against terribly. I think of a story where a little girl named Susie was brutally murdered while her family was camping. Someone pulled her out of her tent and took her away, and stabbed her to death. No one in their right mind can imagine why someone would do that. You may have had someone sin against you terribly. Know this, God is very saddened and touched by your grief. God also promises that He will deal with those who have done such terrible atrocities to us. It may be in this life, or if not, it will certainly be in the next one.
Take a horrible crime, like the one I mentioned. Everyone will see how bad that was to commit. I know we have a hard time seeing this, but our sin, before God is like that. When we sin, it is like committing treason against Him. We just can't see how wicked our sins are to God. But God will forgive us for them, if we want to be forgiven. Our debt to God, because of our sin, is so much more serious than when someone sins against us. But God wants to forgive us. And when He forgives us, we will be changed. When we walk in His forgiveness, we are changed people, by His grace.
I also think, and this is important, that when we are asked to forgive someone, we, for some reason, think that we are somehow condoning the offender's crime. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have to understand this, or we could miss the whole point of forgiveness. There was an incident in which a prisoner, I guess, came to Christ and had a conversion experience. Well, this person happened to know Mother Theresa. Mother Theresa sent a message to those who were responsible for this man to be in prison. She said that they should set this man free, after all, we should forgive him for his crime. In her mind, forgiveness involved letting this person free from prison. Would that have served this person, or those around him? No. Would it have been the right thing to do? No, it would not have helped this person to experience the consequences for his sin. Forgiving a person for their sin does not mean that the person should not accept the responsibility for his crime! Forgiving a person does not let the person off the hook! Forgiveness for another's sin can be a wonderful picture of what God has done for us, and as a result, can set the offending person free to receive forgiveness for his sins from God, should God be working in his or her heart.
I remember reading a true story of how a woman who was in bondage because of bitterness, had terminal cancer. One day, I guess as she was dealing in her heart about the offending person, she decided to forgive this person. As she did, she started coughing up and a tumor came out of her throat. She was suddenly cured of her cancer. Our bitterness (which comes from being unforgiving) can make us sick. If we can't forgive someone, we can develop some devastating effects in our bodies. We need to go to God and ask Him to show us more clearly the Gospel. Let us have a bigger understanding of who God is, then ask Him to help us to forgive others. Even hard core sinners can come to Christ. But if we are bitter towards them, and hold on to that bitterness, they won't come to Christ. We will be holding them in bondage, as we ourselves are in bondage. Ask God for help to forgive. Ask God for a softer heart. Ask God for a heart of compassion. And believe God will work, even in situations where it looks impossible. Remember, with God all things are possible. Forgiving others and loving the unlovable. Just like God did for us.
