Reasons For Divorce?

  I have been doing a lot of research lately, mostly because of school, but some of the research was done on my own. I have found some interesting, yet disturbing philosophies going around in Christian circles. Some statements are naturally made by non-Christian psychologists, nevertheless, Christians have bought into this thinking as well.
   I am thinking of a well known Christian musical artist, who divorce her husband around 10 or so years ago. A few days ago, I was doing some research looking for some of her quotes when I ran across some disturbing ideas.
  This woman was being considered as not being allowed to continue to be part of CCM (which I assume means contemporary Christian Music) because of her divorce. But it was not the divorce that was the problem. It was the way the whole situation was handled. The man at CCM said that the way it was handled violated Scriptures.
  During this time period, the woman was not happy in her marriage and was having an affair. Here are some of the things I read concerning a person who was critiquing the man who runs CCM, and also the counselor of this woman were quite enlightening. The counselor told the woman that God created marriage so that each partner could enjoy each other to the fullest. That sounds nice, but that is not reality. No one is going to enjoy their spouse to the fullest. Not in this life, anyway.
  The second thing that disturbed me, was the man who wrote this article. He said that there were different reasons for divorce. He was already in conflict with the man at CCM who wanted to dismiss this Christian artist. The man who wrote the article said that sometimes, people are just mismatched. Their personalities do not work together. But get this; He said this kind of marriage is already failed. There is no use in living in a failed marriage. But what does the Bible say? He didn't acknowledge what the Bible said. He acknowledged what he believes in what makes a marriage fail, and, why we should not stay in a marriage that is failed.
   The last thing that disturbed me, was what I read tonight in a counseling book. It was from a secular source, but, this is the kind of thinking Americans seem to embrace today. "Staying in an unhappy marriage is psychologically damaging" (Pepper Schwartz). What? Our culture is so filled with this lie of having to do whatever it is to make us happy. No wonder there are so many divorces today. No one gets what they want out of marriage because we are all so selfish. Marriage violates our selfishness. We have to grow up and become responsible. We have to own our sin and work through difficult relationship issues. We have to repent when we make a mistake or hurt someone. We have to have God's help to free us from our love of self in order to love the other person.
  Up until the 1960s, divorce was almost unheard of. Many moms stayed home with the children. But today, divorce has filled the church and cohabitation has increased in an exponential way. I wonder why people don't know what the Scriptures say. Could it be that people really do believe that when there is a conflict between the culture and Scriptures, Scripture must bow down to the culture? What do you think?
   Life is hard. We are totally unfamiliar with doing hard things. But that is how we change. That is how we grow up. God will never be able to use us if we want to be comfortable and have things our way.
  Anyway, this is my 2 cents for today. Take it or leave it. Whatever you do though, make sure it is based upon Scriptures.