Good Book Recommendation

We are going through the series in our counseling class at this time. Tedd Tripp does a good job at helping us understand the difference between disciplining our children because of their behavior, or, showing our children what is going on in their hearts.

Many today want their children to behave properly. We have to look at our motives as to why do we want our children to behave properly. Good behavior is good, isn't it? Well, good behavior is a result of a heart that has been changed by the power of God. If we only deal with the behavior aspect of it, we don't reach the heart and the Gospel message will be missed by the child.

Some want their children to behave properly in order to make themselves look good. I remember falling into those traps when I was a young mother. I remember the days when my kids would be disruptive while we are shopping. To me, this was unacceptable behavior and I would react by being angry at them. We are supposed to be representing God. There is no room for bad behavior.

Some of what we fear has to do with peer pressure. Peer pressure isn't something we outgrow, or that just affects teenagers. It is a heart issue that has to be dealt with whatever age we are.

I began to see things a little differently when I was grocery shopping years ago. While paying for my stuff, there was a mom with several kids who were making a big ruckus. They were obviously out of control. People were looking at this family with disdain. Then the mom started to be out of control and was yelling at the kids in the store.

After I thought about this incident, I began to see it in a different light. Children, at times, are going to act up and do things that make us look bad. The problem is, people will look at us with glaring eyes and sneers with comments of how we must be bad parents. That is the American way. But if we look at it deeper, we can understand the fact that children will have bad behavior at times. Their hearts need to be dealt with. They need to see their self-centeredness and pride. If we don't teach those things to our children, they will grow up to be monster-like. And if we don't take time to train them, then we will react with anger toward them when they act up.

Anyway, here is a book that is highly recommended, that will help us understand how we can help our children to look at their own hearts. Yes, we discipline them but not because they make us angry, or embarrass us. We discipline them because we want them to learn 'the fear of the Lord'. That is the only way they will ever learn wisdom.