You are walking with the Lord. Things are going fairly well. You are even beginning to experience the blessings of some of the fruits of your labor. Then something goes really wrong. What are you going to do?
The tendency for many of us is to assume that somehow we got away from God and now we are failures. But the truth of the matter is that while we walk with God and enjoy His blessings, He allows us to go through challenging times, which could be an assortment of different things that have gone wrong.
In the Bible, it tells about when Jesus was baptized. After He was baptized, the Holy Spirit came down upon Him and God the Father announced that He was pleased with His Son. Right after that though, Jesus was driven into the wilderness to be tested. Of course, He passed the test and returned to regular life after the time of testing was over.
I remember a time when I was on the 'mountain top' so to speak. God was so very real to me, and it seemed like He was working in my heart and answering prayers, etc. Many wonderful things were happening, but we moved to another city and couldn't find a good church. We had a hard time finding good fellowship and never fit in anywhere. I knew in my heart that we were not going to stay there or even find the church we were to be part of in that city, but regardless of that, I ended up being very depressed.
We stayed in that house for 15 months. God seemed so far away from us, yet I do remember having a dream, and in that dream God showed me that He wanted us to move to that city. Whatever God was going to do in our lives, was going to require us to move away, which I was totally reluctant to do, until God showed me that it was what He wanted us to do.
While we lived in this other city, I remember wanting to do Bible clubs for kids that I had been doing up until that point. As we were moving, I made sure all my material I had collected came with me and I continued to add to that collection, because I wanted to have a Bible club that would reach many children with the Gospel. But God had other plans.
I brought the subject up to people in a church we were attending at that time. A woman was going to be my helper. But in my heart, I knew God was telling me that there would be no Bible club. How disappointing! In spite of what I felt God impressing on my heart, I tried hard to start a Bible club. The other lady who was supposed to be my helper disappeared, and when the Bible club was supposed to start, no one showed up. Was I a failure, or was God doing a work in my heart that I would even see until years later?
The Bible club never panned out, and I went for counseling somewhere in this new town. Everything seemed to be going in reverse. Was I reading God in a wrong way, or was I just misinformed? Maybe I was a complete failure and God kicked me out of His kingdom? Where was God anyway? I thought I had a lot of faith in Him but I didn't sense His nearness anymore. What was wrong?
After a while of this discouragement, my husband decided to move us back to the town we were originally part of. We already knew the church we were going to be part of, and that is why we were moving back.
We were on our way to moving back and I remember thinking to myself, 'why does it seem that I can't do anything in ministry? Why has God put me somewhere far away? Of course, the question always comes up which asks 'what did I do wrong?'
I did get an answer. It came in the word, 'wait'. Wait was not part of my active vocabulary though. We, as Americans, are not taught to wait for things. We are so busy doing things and can't wait for answers. That is why we are so impatient. We are pragmatic. We are very practical, and we are very impatient at the same time. We reason within ourselves that we only have so much time on earth and we have to get done whatever it is that we want to do for God, right now. As usual though, God has other plans. His ways are higher than ours and many times they do not make sense to us, mainly because we are impatient and pragmatic.
"But God, don't You want me to serve You?" I felt like my life was a waste. What I didn't know was that I was pregnant with my first child. What I didn't know was that this was going to be the beginning of a new adventure that God had for me. It was not an exalting adventure, but it would be one that would change my life and help me to become more like Christ.
Marriage and children have a way of sanctifying us. Now it was time for me to learn sanctification. Jesus says that He prunes the vine and those who are on this vine are those who belong to Him. Pruning is not a fun experience. Being in the wilderness is not a fun experience. We want to stay on the mountain top, and we don't like pruning shears on us! God will use spouses and children to do that kind of work in our hearts.
Yes, God does want us to serve Him, and if we are faithful to Him, we will find ourselves in ministry, one day. Our ministry could be to our children, or to those we don't even know yet. But we have to go through the process of sanctification first, before God places us in ministry. For some, the process will seem hard and unending, but what we don't realize is that there will be good fruit that will come out of it, one day. We might not see any fruit for a long time, but we are not to become discouraged in that. We are to be faithful to God, whether we are on a mountain top, or in the valley or wilderness.
God does the heart work while we are in the wilderness. We will go through times of testing. Will we be faithful, or will we be discouraged and want to quit?
The ministry God has for us might not look like what we are expecting, but when God is in it, He will bring the results in His timing. We must wait upon Him and learn wisdom during that time. We must be growing spiritually by feeding upon His word. We need to draw close to God. Our faith in Him will develop as we learn who He is, and we learn who He is by spending time in His word.
Whatever ministry we have, it will only come out of our relationship with God. We cannot give away what we don't have. The more we have received from God, the more we will be able to give away, and the stronger our ministry will become. And the only way to receive from God is to be abiding in Christ.
We had our baby, and then a couple more, then we home schooled them and learned what life was really all about. I failed many times as a parent and teacher, but God was able to do way more than what I could have ever done anyway. I feel like I have learned some things as a parent that have helped to shape me into the person God wants me to be. The main ministry I had was to my family, but now it can be extended to others.
The word 'ministry' really means to serve. We are to serve those in our families. We are to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are to serve our neighbors. We are to serve the lost. We use the gifts God has given us, whether they are spectacular or mundane. We use them with humility and grace. We use them to serve others with so they can be successful.
Your 'ministry' might not look like what you imagined, but if you are in God's will, what you are doing to serve Him and others is valid. You might not see the fruit of it today, or tomorrow. You might only see the fruit when you get to the other side.
Do not be weary in well doing. Whether it is home schooling, changing diapers, working at the top level of a career, or picking up trash off the streets, if you know God and are serving Him, He will make your efforts productive. Do not listen to the lies of the Enemy of our souls. He would want you to believe you are a terrible parent or spouse. He wants you to give up, but don't. With the power of God in your life, you can stay with it. Be faithful with what God wants you to do, and you will be grateful for all of what He has given you to do, one day.
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