Whatever Happened to Marriage?

  I see the affects of broken homes everywhere, and have to ask the question, 'Why?' But before I attempt to answer the question, I want to make very sure that what I write is clear and that my readers won't read in things I am not saying.
  First of all, you might be a divorced person. Marriages that end in divorce, generally have one spouse who is the perpetrator (cause) and the other person is the victim. You might have entered marriage with the intention of having the best marriage possible, but your spouse didn't have that same vision, or didn't keep that vision. Also, it goes both ways. Men are perpetrators, but women are as well. This is not a gender issue or attack. I have seen where men leave their wives for other women, but I have to remember that even in my own family, where there was divorce, it was the women who wanted out of the marriage.
   A married person might be thinking, "I don't love him anymore. Why should we stay married?" Or another person could be having an affair on the side, and when caught, then that person turns against his family because he wants out so he can pursue his other lover without the hinderance of a family.
  If you are a victim of having a spouse who dumped you, then can I encourage you to stay close to those in your church? You will need the support of others and encouragement from those who have suffered and are able to help. You may have done things wrong in your relationship with your spouse, but it is not necessarily your fault that your husband or wife wanted out. I believe God has a special grace for you and will help you, especially if you are a single parent. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Have others pray for you and your family. God is for you, if you know Him.
  I think there are two basic reasons why people end up in a divorced situation. In our culture today, we have forgotten God. We don't fear Him, nor do we respect Him as a people. We think that His word is passe. That worked for Adam and Eve and Moses, but we are in a new day. But what does the Bible say? It tells us that God never changes. His principles and rules still apply today. Just because we commit adultery and get away with it doesn't mean that God isn't going to deal with it. If we are a child of God, then when we sin, God chastens us. It causes us to want to repent and be truly sorry for the wrong we have done. If we sin and nothing happens as a consequence, we need to be concerned. If we sin and get away with it, could it be that we really aren't one of God's children? In the Bible, every person is either a child of God or a child of the devil. If a person has been born again, then he or she is born into God's family and is His child. God promises to chasten us when we disobey Him. It is a good thing, but not necessarily pleasant. Ultimately, we will face God and our sins will be dealt with. They will be dealt with either at the Cross, or, on Judgment Day.
   Another reason why we turn to divorce is because of the influence and training of our culture. We have taken the concept which believes that when God's word conflicts with culture, then God's word must bend to what the culture says. In this case, and most people really don't realize what is going on, but culture insists on the belief system of convenience. Whatever is easiest. Whatever is most comfortable. Those are the values we cherish today. Whatever happened to doing hard things? I have heard so many people end up in divorce simply because they don't love their spouse anymore. Do they not realize that his or her spouse is a human being with feelings and a soul? Do these people think of their spouses as some kind of toy that they got bored with? Whatever happened to responsibility? I can tell you that responsibility is not really taught today, for it violates the concept of making an easy life for yourself.
   Years ago, when my dad was alive, he made some interesting statements. One of them was in reference to people, young men in particular, that he noticed were either lazy or irresponsible. My dad said that they should go in the army. When boys went into the army, they came out as different men. They had to learn responsibility. They had no choice. But today the army is optional and only those motivated to be part of it will join.
   When I was a child, divorce was rare. I am not saying that every person's marriage was great, but, at least there were family units that were whole. But today, the pendulum is swung in the opposite direction. In fact, many today choose not to marry but to live together in a marriage-like relationship, without taking the vows. Many don't want the responsibility of marriage so they just cohabitate instead.
   So, in conclusion, there are at least two reasons people feel free to divorce today. One is the lack of the fear of the Lord, and the other is that we don't want anything that requires hard work. Sadly, the ratio of divorce is equal to or greater in the church than it is in the world. But that is no surprise to me when 'Christian' song artists have a light view of marriage as well as many pastors who hold God's word lightly. There are other Gospels besides the only true one, and one Gospel would teach that God's desire for you is to make you happy. As one Christian song artist states, "If you aren't happy in your marriage, then I say, get out of it", which this woman did exactly as she recommends. Another Christian song artist did a similar thing in divorcing her husband because she didn't love him anymore. But this thinking is unscriptural and unacceptable. God does not give us permission to divorce our spouses on the basis of our happiness or our lack of love for someone.
   Marriage is hard work, and we all need God's grace to make a marriage work. Any person who is a true believer (follower) of Jesus Christ needs to be involved in a Bible believing church. When we really grasp how bad our sins are before a holy God, and recognize the mercy His has toward us, we will be able to extend that mercy to our spouses. But if we think we 'deserve' something better than what we have, we have misunderstood the Gospel and bought into the lie of the culture that teaches us that we are 'entitled' to good things and prosperity. Prosperity is a blessing from God. God promises to give us good gifts if we know Him. But these blessings are gifts and not things we receive because we deserve them. If we get what we deserve, we would get hell. And rightly so, because that is what sin does for us. "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ".
   Perhaps you do not know God yet and are not in a right relationship with Him. If you would like more information on this, please go to: The Gospel Conversation  or  http://test4gp.wordpress.com    This issue could not be more serious. Something to think about.