I was thinking about something I read a long time ago, probably in the newspaper written by some 'expert' about children being affected by divorce. It seemed that this person didn't think that children would be adversely affected by divorce, but I never could agree with this conclusion.
I heard something on the radio yesterday that is more realistic when it comes to the affects of divorce. It was a short little program where a man who was a doctor told of a little girl who came into his office because of bad stomach pains. The doctor drew the little girl out by asking her questions. After asking questions he found out that the little girl and her family were living in a homeless shelter. Why? Because Daddy found another lady to love and didn't want to take care of his family anymore!
So, divorce really doesn't hurt anyone, right? Wrong. When a divorce takes place, children feel guilty. Sometimes, the child of the divorced parents feel that he or she is to blame for the divorce. Of course, that is Satan's lie to try to destroy the child. If Satan can get the parents to divorce, then certainly the child is open for his tactics as well.
I don't think it takes a genius to understand that divorce is harmful to children. You might be asking then, what about me? What about what I want? Why do I have to stay married to the same person if I want someone else?
50 + years ago, people thought twice about things like divorce. If the marriage was hard (and most marriages are), people were mature enough to try to work through their problems. They stuck it out, even though the grass seemed greener in other places. But, the situation of divorce goes much deeper than just sticking it out. When two people get married, they are committing themselves to each other, before a holy God. They are promising that they will stay with each other until one or the other dies.
The big problem today, and the reason why people so easily divorce, is that society has taught us to take the easy way out of our problems, and it seems like divorce is the easier way out than to stick with something like a commitment to someone that we don't want to stay with anymore. Lawyers make a lot of money from divorce cases. Society has also taught us that we 'deserve' better than what we get. Well, if we get what we deserve from God, we would end up in hell! But God is merciful. He gives us good gifts. He also gives us problems to work through, so that we will grow and be changed through them.If we buy into society's lie in avoiding problems, we will become myopic and self-centered, and we will never grow or change. Of course, if a person is outside of Christ, he or she won't see any need to grow or be changed. That person will only be self-centered and self-seeking the rest of his or her life. No one outside the grace of God can die to their selfishness and live for others.
The other reason people get divorced, is because they want to be married or have a relationship with someone they are not married to. In America today, we can get a lot of things. We have money that can buy us things and we think those things will make us happy. Our marriages begin to drift and we start looking around for someone who will pay attention to us. We are intrigued by someone other than our spouse, and then we don't think it is a big deal to leave our spouse and family for that 'other' person. We have little or no motivation to remain faithful to the one we made vows with. Basically, we lost our fear of God and become selfish again and want to do our own thing. Of course, it is easy to get away with it in America because money buys everything and we have a lot of money.
What we need to realize is that God is holy, and we need to fear Him. We need to respect Him for who He is. We need to learn what the Bible says about Him, instead of thinking of Him as a Cosmic Santa Claus or a sweatered grandfather who spoils his grandchildren. He is God and we are going to give account to Him one day. He knows when we are lusting after another person. He knows when we want to get out of our marriages. He wants to help us out of our sin and deception. His ways are higher than our ways.
We need to be praying for our families. Men need to lead spiritually. Women need to respect their husbands. Husbands need their wives as help mates. We all need God's help in our lives and marriages. The power of the Cross will help us to die to our selfishness and live for Him. Only when we have a new heart and the grace of God can we live a life that is truly fulfilling and glorifying to God.
One more thing; if you are a product of a divorce please don't feel condemned by this article. And if you were the cause of a divorce, God can help you to repent and be restored. There is hope and healing for people who were involved in divorce. Please find a place where you can get counseling and help. And lastly, if you are having an affair and have made the decision to divorce your spouse and go on with the affair, please repent! You are on dangerous ground! The ramifications of your decision will be devastating. God can help you break the hold of sin on your life!
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